Who wrote this?
by Witch Tekamika
Summary: A long oneshot on what might but probably never will happen between Ed and Winry. Co written with Evil Llama Pjamas. Total craziness but total entertaining! R&R!


Disclaimer: i don not own FMA and if i did this story would be better.

Plz no flames, it will ruin my pshycoemotional development

edward elric- the famous alchemist with a left arm and right leg made of metal called auto-mail.

Alphonse elric- the younger brother often mistaken as the full metal alchemist whose entire body is now a giant suit of armour due to an unfortunate accident.

This is just one of there many stories.

It all started out as a normal day at central. Right up until the elric boys had a surprise visit from Winry Rockbell. Winry is none other then eds auto-mail mechanic, being a mechanical genuis she gets very angry when ed shows up with his auto-mail half destoryed if not completely. Winry just walked right right up to ed, completely ignoring Al and said "can we talk in private there's something i need to tell you."

"ah sure. right this way."

when they were out of earshot of al.

she blurted out

"i'm pregnant. and it's your baby."

"What! How is that possible?"

"remember that night when we got totally plastered at the military ball? Mrs Hughes invited me.."

"Yeah, that was fun" chuckling

"Yeah well, do you remember when we went out back and well yeah"

"we didn't..."

"we did."

"crap."

"your telling me"

"so what happens now?"

"well i go through 9 months of mood swings and hormonal changes.have the baby. then i can keep it, or adopt it out. that last one mostly depends in if the father will help me out."

silence

"so will you?"

"I doubt it cos we're always on the move."

"So when does that count for anything?"

"get an abortion."

"that costs to much."

"Get it free, fall down some stairs."

"and it could also kill me. it might not even work."

"well it's worth a try isn't it?"

"no you inconsiderate thing that might be called a human being."

meanwhile over with al

"he had 10,000 men

he marched them up to the top of the hill

and he marched them down again."

"and when they were up they were up

and when they were down they were down

and when they were only half way up they were neither up nor down."

"Hey al, whatcha doing?"

"oh, hello Hughes. I'm not doing anything except waiting for ed to come back."

"where did he go?"

"over there with winry, she said she needed to talk to him in private."

"well, well..." hughs went over and hid behind a wall in his terrible form of eaves dropping.

"hey don't call me inconsiderate. your the one who went and got pregnant."

"not like i could help it. if you had just kept your hands and intentions to your self we wouldn't be in this mess."

"my intentions? it was all you, i distinctly remember that."

"don't make me laugh. you couldn't even remember what we did; let alone who's idea it was."

"yeah. well...

your the one who went and got pregnant!"

"so! i'm not the only one to blame here you know!"

"hey Hughs! what are you doing here!" they cried in unison.

"well you see...

i came to find you. and there were a couple of complaints about about the noise pollutions."

"noise pollution? what the hell are you on about?" cried ed

"just shut the hell up and i'll give you the number of an adoption agency."

"WHAT! how did you find out?" they once again yelled together

"noise pollution."

"oh." said winry "do you and your wife want another kid?"

"well now that you mention it...

who are you trying to kid of course not. got enough on our hands as it is."

"well do you know anyone who who does?"

"Lt. Hawkeye might, nah she says a puppy's hard enough as it is and if she pulls a gun on a dog for pissing in the corner just imagine what she would do to a kid. Roy? maybe."

"god no, i hate that guy!" cried out the full metal alchemist.

"oh crap." said winry.

"what is it?"

"well the kid might not be yours after all..."

"what to you mean?" (now starting to get annoyed)

"i mean on that same night i also slept with...

this havoc guy and that scar guy you always trying to kill."

"no way."

"yes way, and they were way better then you must be because they are really tall and you are really short."

"what did you just say?" (getting really mad)

"you know what it can't be that Havoc because he can't have kids so it might actually be scar."

"you met scar and didn't report it?"

"well dah! of course i didn't report it, besides he is really sweet."

"Sweet! did you say sweet! that guy is a cold blooded murderer!"

"yes but a sweet cold blooded murderer."

"there is no such thing as a _**sweet cold blooded** **murderer.**_"

"and how do you know! all you do is get rid of them! you don't get to know them as i got to know him."

"of course i don't know he like you do. i haven't slept with him."

"maybe you should."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Oh, i'm tired. maybe i should get some sleep."

"well you are more then welcome to stay with us again you know." interrupted hughes.

"well thank-you i might just take you up on that offer."

"you are welcome. My daughter and wife miss you terribly."

"well that's nice to know."

"But we're not done yet!" screamed ed.

"oh yes we are. good bye ed." said winry calmly as she walked off with maes hughes.

"Hey ed what was that about?" asked al.

"nothing mate. it's just that time of the month. come on lets go get something to eat."

and they walked off in silence. ed deep in thought.

after awhile al asked:

"hey ed? what were you talking about when you said, 'it's just that time of the month'?"

"It dosn't matter, that's just some moody girl thing."

"oh okay."

Then suddenly a huge explosion appeared out of nowhere and wiped out all of existence.

But with ed's final once of energy he saw winry running to the arms of scar, the cold blooded murderer.

"no." he wimpered before dieing.

With only scar and winry left they went off to find some big deserted mansion with a pool so they could live in comfort for the rest of their presumably short lives.


End file.
